Oct 28, 2007 14:42
16 yrs ago
English term
planning, publishing and the growing web presence
English
Bus/Financial
Management
Web
There is a need for more strategic information to be developed at the Branch level, particularly as it relates to planning, publishing and the growing web presence of xxxx.
Should it be read
as it relates to
1) planning
2) publishing
3) the growing web presence of xxxx
OR
as it relates to
1) planning web presence of xxxx
2) publishing web presence of xxxx
3) the growing web presence of xxxx
Thanks in advance for any insight
Should it be read
as it relates to
1) planning
2) publishing
3) the growing web presence of xxxx
OR
as it relates to
1) planning web presence of xxxx
2) publishing web presence of xxxx
3) the growing web presence of xxxx
Thanks in advance for any insight
Responses
| 4 +1 | Your first version. |
kmkrowens
|
| 3 +2 | See explanation below... |
Tony M
|
| 3 +1 | your first option |
Mark Nathan
|
| 4 | Your second option |
Deborah Workman
|
Change log
Oct 28, 2007 15:41: NancyLynn changed "Term asked" from "cf. below" to "planning, publishing and the growing web presence "
Responses
+1
2 mins
English term (edited):
cf. below
Selected
Your first version.
It sounds better to me. Just my opinion. The second way is too much.
Peer comment(s):
| agree |
NancyLynn
: it's heavily worded, as it would be in French. English tends to be more streamlined :-)
1 hr
|
|
Thanks Nancy!
|
4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer.
Comment: "Thanks to all"
+1
3 mins
English term (edited):
cf. below
your first option
is how I read it
+2
1 hr
See explanation below...
I actually think there is a 3rd possibility that you have not mentioned (unless it is what you meant, but failed to make clear, in your 1st suggestion):
planning (by xxx or its Branch)
publishing (by xxx or its Branch)
growin web presence (of xxx)
The point being, I DON'T believe it is referring to planning or publishing IN GENERAL, but only specifically as being perfomred by xxx (or possibly, the branches); the writer clearly had a problem because 2 different prepositions were needed.
That 'the' preceding the last list item goes a long way to making your second option less than likely.
planning (by xxx or its Branch)
publishing (by xxx or its Branch)
growin web presence (of xxx)
The point being, I DON'T believe it is referring to planning or publishing IN GENERAL, but only specifically as being perfomred by xxx (or possibly, the branches); the writer clearly had a problem because 2 different prepositions were needed.
That 'the' preceding the last list item goes a long way to making your second option less than likely.
10 hrs
Deborah Workman
United States
United States
Native in English
&
English
Works in field
United States
Telecom/new media tech, law, bus, mktg
Native in: English
Works in: Spanish to English, Portuguese to English, French to English, and 1 more.
Related KudoZ points
:
8
Your second option
Having worked for a very long while in telecom management consulting, I'm familiar with such sentences and their authors. There is a tendency to consider things in phases and to list the phases so that there's no doubt about the scope of concern. (That doesn't mean that such lists remove all ambiguity, as the present example shows!)
Especially if your document is essentially about XXXX's web presence, then I think your second proposal is the most likely.
I'd rate my answer a 5 but that presumes I know your entire document. Still, if I were to rate this on my industry experience alone, I'd rate my confidence a 5.
Especially if your document is essentially about XXXX's web presence, then I think your second proposal is the most likely.
I'd rate my answer a 5 but that presumes I know your entire document. Still, if I were to rate this on my industry experience alone, I'd rate my confidence a 5.
Discussion