Jan 3, 2012 22:33
12 yrs ago
English term
United States
What if it heaved with gleaming cities
English to French
Art/Literary
Poetry & Literature
It is a short sentence I have to translate :
the context : the author describes what a beautiful world looked like.
it= beautiful world
I have part of the translation but I face a problem with the verb "to heave" in this context
the context : the author describes what a beautiful world looked like.
it= beautiful world
I have part of the translation but I face a problem with the verb "to heave" in this context
Proposed translations
(French)
Proposed translations
21 mins
Alcime Steiger
France
France
Native in French
Works in field
France
Social Sciences | Published Translations
Native in: French (Variant: Standard-France) 
Works in: English to French, Spanish to French
Related KudoZ points
:
4
Selected
Et s'il s'édifiait en d'étincelantes cités ?
ou "sur" d'étincelantes cités ??
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Note added at 27 minutes (2012-01-03 23:00:43 GMT)
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http://www.thefreedictionary.com/heave
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Note added at 27 minutes (2012-01-03 23:00:43 GMT)
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http://www.thefreedictionary.com/heave
Peer comment(s):
| neutral |
Tony M
: Although in a literary context your departure from the s/t might be appropriate, I do rather feel that "s'édifier" rather misses some of the key point of 'heave' (meaning 'lots of', and oddly, usually pejorative)
3 hrs
|
|
En effet, je suis assez d'accord avec votre remarque.
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4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer.
+3
12 mins
déborder
Et s'il (si ce monde) débordait de brillantes villes (cités)?
Peer comment(s):
| agree |
GILLES MEUNIER
5 hrs
|
| agree |
kashew
: As Tony says: not a compliment.
13 hrs
|
| agree |
enrico paoletti
15 hrs
|
8 hrs
Timothy Rake
United States
United States
Native in English
Specializes in field
United States
My business is translating your business
Native in: English
Works in: French to English, English to French
Related KudoZ points
:
8
s'il pousser un soupir de ...
... just a thought
-1
9 hrs
Et s'il profusait d'étincelantes cités ?
"profuser" has a more positive meaning than "déborder"
Peer comment(s):
| disagree |
Sara M
: Profuser n'existe pas
1 day 12 hrs
|
|
yes, my mistake; another idea: Et s'il regorgait d'étincelantes cités ?
|
11 hrs
Sandra Mouton
United Kingdom
United Kingdom
Native in French
Works in field
United Kingdom
Efficiency and finesse
Native in: French
Works in: English to French, Russian to French, Latin to French, and 3 more.
Related KudoZ points
:
10
Et s'il était couvert d'étincelantes cités ?
Une autre façon de tourner les choses.
11 hrs
English term (edited):
to heave
abonder (en)
autre suggestion
Et s'il abondait en...
Sinon, pourquoi pas "regorger de" ?
Et s'il abondait en...
Sinon, pourquoi pas "regorger de" ?
13 hrs
tourbillon eclatant de
*
14 hrs
et s'il s'épandait en villes scintillantes
J'ai pris le parti de conserver le rythme et l'assonance en /i/ du vers original.
Le verbe s'épandre, associé à l'adjectif "scintillant", donne une certaine fluidité à la phrase grâce à l'allitération en "s", qui permet aussi de véhiculer l'idée de débordement (impression que la phrase ne peut être dite que d'un trait, pas de temps de respiration entre les mots si on prononce la phrase).
Tout comme le terme "heaved", le terme s’épandre peut avoir une connotation négative - merci Tony pour cette remarque pertinente !
Le verbe s'épandre, associé à l'adjectif "scintillant", donne une certaine fluidité à la phrase grâce à l'allitération en "s", qui permet aussi de véhiculer l'idée de débordement (impression que la phrase ne peut être dite que d'un trait, pas de temps de respiration entre les mots si on prononce la phrase).
Tout comme le terme "heaved", le terme s’épandre peut avoir une connotation négative - merci Tony pour cette remarque pertinente !
Discussion
Although there are already many good suggestions, somehow I'm still wondering about your question. I guess it's the fact that it is so short and so decontextualised that makes it so puzzling.
In your comment, you said "the author describes what a beautiful world looked like" but it seems strange to me because when you have "what if + past tense", does it not indicate that the condition which is introduced is unreal ? (English speakers please correct me if I'm wrong).
"What if it heaved with gleaming cities" makes me think the author talks about how he sees the future, not the past.
Did you mean "the author describes what a beautiful world will look like/would look like".
The other puzzling thing is the opposition between "gleaming" and the rather pejorative "heaving", as stressed by Tony M. You're sure you don't have any more context?
Bon "je coupe les cheveux en quatre", and you've probably moved forward, but hey, if you have a minute ...
Thanks!