satisfy = يرضى
compulsive = اجباري

I was compelled to accept what Hala and myself did with ....

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Note added at 1 hr (2021-03-18 16:04:24 GMT)
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https://ludwig.guru/s/I am compelled to agree

I think this word conveys the meaning you're trying to get hold of. Check its exact meaning in an English-English dictionary. I have just done that.

I think reluctantly here matches the literary style more as it's higher in register than unwillingly

Let me summarize my understanding of the narrator's line of thinking:

Sometime in the past, when the narrator was less thoughtful (perhaps younger), and acting under the influence of Hala, the narrator engaged in actions that the narrator now believes were thoughtless, crude, and possibly even cruel. The narrator now recognizes the folly of these actions. The actions were taken under a puritanical religious pretext. Therefore, repenting of these actions amounts to a rejection of the religious framework that instigated the actions. The narrator wants to repent of the actions and of the underlying puritanical impetus, but does not want to go so far as to reject religion per se and certainly does not want to be implicated in any kind of blasphemous thinking, such as a radical rejection of God or His commandments. This leaves the narrator intellectually cornered into a compromise: to resign oneself to the reality that the actions have indeed been taken. They cannot be undone, and, it may be safer not to think too much about the matter, because any kind of reflection could lead to an unholy rebellion that might have dire consequences in the hereafter. Resignation is acceptance of what cannot be changed. In this case, it is only the actions that cannot be undone, but even reflecting on the actions seems rife with risk of committing further sacrilege. The narrator is "letting sleeping dogs lie" because no other course of action promises a safer outcome.

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Note added at 13 hrs (2021-03-19 04:03:15 GMT)
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Textual correction: The second to last sentence should read: "It is not only the actions . . ." The word "not" was omitted by mistake. I apologize.