Oct 7, 2017 12:46
7 yrs ago
Russian term

и, не насытившись трепетом тел,

Russian to English Art/Literary Poetry & Literature frase follows
a poem

Discussion

tania mourtzila (asker) Oct 9, 2017:
to Jack Doughty: I too think you should be translating poetry, thanks
Jack: you should be translating poetry.
Tremble would have been a good option, with trembling as the noun form.
El oso Oct 7, 2017:
Wow! I still think 'tremor' isn't the best word to use here, though.
What does it even mean, "the tremor of bodies" and how do you satisfy it?
Jack Doughty Oct 7, 2017:
Translation of poem. Found one here: https://www.stihi.ru/2012/11/15/8720 but don't much like it, so here's mine:
I would take you in my arms,
Take, and away I would you bear,
Laugh at your protests and alarms,
Breathe the aroma of your hair.

With the tremor of bodies unsatisfied,
With silence disturbed by the heartbeat deep,
Would awaken and look at you wide-eyed,
Crying from joy to see you sleep.

As into a stream I’d press on you,
As into a river at you I’d gaze.
The thought that to me you’ll be ever true
In two hundred years, will still amaze.

Oh, would that these “ifs” and “buts” were dead,
On which we forever beat our head!
El oso Oct 7, 2017:
@ Frank MacroJanus Definitions of tremor:
a trembling or shaking usually from physical weakness, emotional stress, or disease.. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/tremor
an involuntary trembling of the body or limbs; it may have either a physical or a psychological cause. Early symptoms include trembling of the hands and nodding of the head. Tremors are often associated with parkinson's disease, which affects nerve centers in the brain that control the muscles. They also occur in cerebral palsy, hyperthyroidism, and withdrawal from narcotics or alcohol... http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/tremor

Proposed translations

18 hrs
Selected

two trembling bodies lusting for more

My effort.
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4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer. Comment: "thank you, and special thanks to Jack Doughty "
22 mins

and unsated with the tremor of bodies

Proposition.
Peer comment(s):

neutral El oso : "unsated with the tremor"? Really? I mean, what's wrong with them love-birds? Stricken with Parkinson's disease or what? :-)
41 mins
A good one, El oso. I think they are trembling with excitement that comes with touching one another.
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+1
1 hr

still hungry for more..

That's what it means basically.
still hungry for /the warmth of her body/the feel(touch) of her flesh, etc..
Peer comment(s):

agree TatianaKary
22 hrs
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